Our Father in Heaven has an interesting way of directing our journey through life. Sometimes for me it has been very forceful impressions to go, do or say something. Often it is that the Lord knows my heart so well that he places things in my life to support decisions I will make, should make, or already have made. The later of the three is where I am this week. My last few posts have been about a journey – a journey of motherhood, wifehood, and friendship. Each day this week as I have read the scriptures, prayed, opened the Ensign to read I have been pushed toward certain message – messages just for me (at least that is how it feels). It baffles my mind that He can be so far seeing that He can place things in my path before I even am aware I need them there.
This morning in my devotional time I read an Ensign article called Anticipating the Need to Forgive by A. Dean Byrd (just click on the title). What an amazing article. There are so many things that I could share that touched me that may not touch you so go and read and see what you think and let me know. I will share a few things here.
“We can apply the same pattern when others hurt us with their remarks or actions. We can decide to forgive them in advance. While it is not likely that a rattlesnake will bite us, it is likely that we will be on the receiving end of intentional or unintentional negative remarks or actions from others many times in our lives. Anticipating that and forgiving ahead of time keeps the “poison” out of our system and spares us from unnecessary pain and suffering.” Anyone that knows me well knows that my feelings are pretty sensitive and so sometimes I wonder if I have it in me to be a step-mom (not a term I use often). Often when my feelings are hurt it is because I allow myself to think that a certain behavior or response towards me is purposefully hurtful from the child (that they want to hurt me). I have found that when I step back and anticipate that I might get these reactions my ability to keep my emotions in check is much easier. In any relationship there is forgiving and that is certainly not any different with children and spouses.
Elder Byrd provides an example within the article of a young man he had worked with to forgive himself and others – his name was changed to Jared. He states “Jared realized that as an adult he had lost sight of the truth that he was a child of God. He had sung the song in Primary and had known the reality of it when he was younger, but he had somehow lost hold of that basic truth. He wanted that childlike knowledge to be an integral part of him again. He knew that if he once again believed he was a child of God, he could overcome the challenges he was trying to defeat.” It is amazing how powerful that knowledge is and how easy it is to push it aside and forget. Our Father in Heaven loves us beyond measure and sometimes we just need to be reminded – I know I do. Sometimes I get so caught up in things that I forget to attempt to see the long view. Rob is amazing at that – one of my favorite strengths he has – and in this journey with him of raising children he is often the one that reminds me to remember who I am and who each of our children are – Children of a Loving God.
Finally, a section just for me – he talks about how our imperfections (and I have many) can become strengths (Hallelujah). When in the MTC I often felt that every imperfection, flaw or problem was put across me like a giant sign to allow everyone to see all of the things I needed to work on. What I didn’t realize then was when you can see the things you need to work on that clearly it is much easier to do something about it. Motherhood and wifehood has done the same thing to me. Not only do I realize all the things that I need to work on – they just happen to be things that I need in order to thrive as a joyful mother. Elder Byrd states “The blessings of the Atonement don’t just cover our sins but extend to our imperfections and shortcomings. In short, we develop the courage to be imperfect as we strive for perfection (wholeness) in our lives. When we view ourselves and others through our spiritual eyes, we become more tolerant and forgiving of imperfections. We can screen out the negativism, the hurt feelings, the offenses. We can see people based on intent—giving them the benefit of the doubt and assuming their good intent. Sometimes when we feel hurt, offended, or frustrated, we frame what we see much like a frame around a photo. Forgiveness allows us to frame people and interactions differently. Jared soon learned that framing forgiveness around others and himself made his life’s journey much smoother.”
If you are still with me you deserve a prize. This of course was more for me – a place to record what I am learning in my journey.
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